geez

2006-04-09T15:08:00.000+08:00

aku malas ah nak banyak bebual.
korang ada otak kan. gie pakai tu benda.

fikir apa yang start the problem.
shidah kau fikir masak2 what was the right thing u should have done in the beggining.
nisak,kau fikir betul2 apa salah kau dah buat kat dorang.
and nura, i havent seen u for so long.it seems ure running away and putting aside what u used to call friends.
im nt gonna blame u for anything.u threw my sister away and u took her back just like that.
up to you la,kau da besar.what u wanna say,u just say.ape kau nak buang,kau buang je.

im high strung alrdy.
fucked up people in a fucked up world.
talk it out nicely together.jgn nk mengumpat je. it wont solve anything,it just fuels hate.
tapi jangan bebual gan aku,aku tknk tau pape.

*be happy*think happy*

sweeet.taken away by magic..even with my status,ive got nobody.nobody to really keep my mind of everything.ala,uve been so nice.im trying so hard to be patient with just evrythg.
half of the problem is solvable.while the other half is confusing.trying to just keep mum and then i can just suddenly snap.like i just did with my three kedondong friends.ok.but seeing u just makes my heart smiles.
i dont know why. erhhhhh.

bye.

2006-04-07T02:42:00.000+08:00

staircase smoking session.
has always been the remedy.

ok.and i want to thank you.
for making me smile. :) brrhh.
i love u lah maths.

2006-04-03T23:58:00.000+08:00

xiao ling also can la.
haha. unexpectedly,fun people. woa.ok.

as the cat snores behind the laptop, i terribly need shopping.
even as im gonna turn 19,i think im still too young to comprehend evrythng that's been
happenin lately.
matters of the heart?
jgn step faham laa dey.

tata.!

2006-04-02T00:26:00.000+08:00

i have got so many questions but ive
got no answer.
got no solution.
go no explanation.

ahhhhhhhhhh.where have u been to before this?

so if u're well off does that give you the right to look down on whoever u think is not?
suddenly ppl think drawing a line between them and the rest is cool.
i can get whatever i want and you cant or im better then u or im older then u so means u can never be better. or so u think.
whatever it be la actualli.
please, dont think so highly of urself.
ive been there,ive done that.yes i have.
ive looked down on people until the point where im the one who's been looked down upon.
it's passe la.
so try and get out of ur own well.
dont wait until somebody says "eh sialla,tak tau malu pe sia?"

how come nobody is trynna be humble this days?
and no,im nt pointin out anybody in particular.

its true what my gp teacher says.
we have the technology but most dont have proper moral values.

2006-03-29T09:01:00.000+08:00

if u go i go k?set?
k best.
yes.by mister ramzi.
29thapril/tenbucks/woodlandscc.

omg.im sick in the brain.i...erh.have a thing for..old people.imean.no.erh.omg.farz.gilerbabi.
ok.huh.scaryshit.sshhh.erhh.erhhhhhhhhhhhh?????????????the hell siak farz.merepek bodoh kau.
sth must be extremely wrong with the hormones.flush.ineedapackofciggies.hurhh.satucan?erh.shit.
arrrrrrgh.. =/

nightclasses aren't that bad.suddenly inclined to studying. alah,skejap je.

a month plus till i turn 19.
let's start countdown earlier this year shall we.

:))
c ya'll around!.
lovelove.

2006-03-26T09:25:00.000+08:00

I closed the door already.
I switched the fan to number 3.
whizzing at it's loudest.
But i still can here them talking.
Their menacing comments seeped through cracks and holes, like water flooding the room.

There's noone here to tell me im full of wrong.
Noone to breathe down my neck.
just being outside this wretched place is a momentary bliss.

nisak,i miss u.

2006-03-23T18:43:00.000+08:00

jajatbinks,
i give up ahh.
back to pre-u1 for me.
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhh.fugg.
nightbookslavery.
IDONTWANT!

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPUMMMPKIINNNNN!

2006-03-20T12:56:00.000+08:00

that one is for those who think they're big shots.
ur rap performance dont bring u money la..
for the one who talked big.
for the one who thought others were lowclass rappers.
for the one who thot we won bcos woodlands is our place,and just plain couldnt accept it.

tsk,tsk.
has retribution come arnd tk?

it probably isnt.but it probly should be.
if it wasnt but think it shld be, then
happy eighteenth to you.
like always.
i just want to be happy.

BYE PEOPLE.

2006-03-16T22:18:00.000+08:00

the i.o asked me
eddie;"what did that bangla look like?u remember his face anot?"
faRz;"yeala.he's black."(obviously lah!)
shidah and nisak; "ahaha.."
eddie;"you also black what!"
nisak;"ahah.farz kena balek..padan muka"

motherfucker betul.IM BROWN for god's sakes.
i demand for a change in i.o.

2006-03-13T15:30:00.000+08:00

you wear his clothes.
you have his hair.
you have his face.
you even have the same hp number as he does.

but who are you?

[]edit[/]
can i noe who made that comment abt the dome kids?
honestly,that's the most self-centered comment.
it's seriously shallow and downright selfish.
maybe it's just you who doesnt know how to appreciate friendship.
just bcos friendship doesnt come on a silver plate and served right infront of you.
please open up ur mind,whoever you are.

if u're nt happy then clarify,dont just make onepoint statements and finalize in ending a precious friendship then regret later on.
what kind of friends do we have sia?
im nt gonna let anyone cloud my judgement on friendship. not even the boyfriend.
bcos i for myself know the different level of friendships. nt everybody has to be my BESTFRIEND.
nt everybody has to help me with my problems.in fact i hate sharing problems.
i may have a terrible friend.who never helps me at all and is terribly annoying.like syafiqoink. lol.
but in a way,when we all gather at dome.when we laugh and make jokes,they lift my sadness temporarily.
no matter how bad/terrible/useless a friend is.
for god's sakes the guys at dome are BOYS.they dont interect with each other on a personal level.
boys are afterall dumb. =)))
BUT
isnt a friend, still a friend after all?

2006-03-10T15:13:00.000+08:00

i want to D I E.
can?

don't tell me how everything just sucks.
cos you dont know.
seriously.

2006-03-05T01:53:00.000+08:00

..smile when u're alone, cos crying is cliche..
i want to be inside the black and white screen tv.
and i want to stand beside p.ramlee.
be in the oldschool settings of disco and atap houses.
THAT will get rid of my annoying problems now.

every night, for weeks,has my nightmare of u innit.
i've got to learn to have more emotional control.
so i dont wake up getting angry bcos of devil's play.

i've been loosing angels.
time for a change of lifestyle.
less smoking and more prayers.
you think can make it anot?
my intake of ciggies have gone down tremendously btw.

malaysia boleh!

seek a thousand and one secrets, i throw the wind my fears,
it brought it far away from me, bring back smiles to my tears.
colour up my life, with ur pretty face.
im in a vicious cycle,i hate this ugly place.

i dont want to be here..

where crude words fly thru my head.
where problems just adds to existing.
crying dreams i have in bed.
i'm flawed from head to toe,
i dont know which is harder-holding on or letting go.
swollen eyes from crying it out.
the outcomes of being ugly-inside and out.

nevermind the lending shoulder.or the pat behind the back.never mind the assuring hug, cos i dont need all that.

setbacks are for myself to handle.

2006-02-27T23:58:00.000+08:00

wonderwarriers.
first day of work was not bad but
the pakcik2 reject was effing up my nerve okay.
u should have been there, fucking rude i tell u. talking like as if me and nura are cheap girls.
pls lar kay. im just glad i can be extra rude.

he kept asking us where we stayed. labelling himself abang. like as if we want to noe abt him.
asking why i was sad while i was staring at nura's butt sleepily.banyak tanya.malas siak nak layan. so the only thing i could do is walk off.

pakcik: (talking to the other 2 pakciks, LOUDLY hitting on us two, busy doing our work..sth like) ajak dorng dtg ruma, nanti abg boleh upah tiga ratus, kita jadi gigolo. ..
after he left i kept on complaining abt how my dad looks more handsome.and with a crack face like that i wont fuck him for a million bucks even.wtf.

[outside as me and nura goes to wash hands)
he stands near.
faRz: (loudly, looks at him) eh, takdapat ah sial!.
he turns and walks away smoking. which after that,he left us alone.

unfortunatly he came back disturbing nura.
nura; (complains to me) aku malas ah! aku bad mood sial.
pakcik gatal; awak bad mood? asal?
then nura walked of.MALAS NAK LAYAN.

then he went to mengurat some other minah.
and i walked past him and went.
faRz; (loudly) tsk.eh,alamak, ni PAKCIK eh. memang ah!.

then his friends snickered at the back.

then nura was smoking and this pakcik came and mati2 wanted rokok until he took the ciggerate nura was smoking.she was smoking that tau and he took it.
after he took a few puffs and left,
nuRa; ahh,sama2 ehh.
lol.

tu pakcik muka mintak kena tumbuk siak.
honestly.

2006-02-26T01:52:00.000+08:00

shout outs

pumpkin; ahh okay2. no fighting for shoutouts okay. tolong ehh. im TIRED alrdy. so please? =/
zulprinze; u missed ur cutiepie lah siak. she performed at wdls cc. bloody poser. wahuah. ok. now i know what she looks like. not bad la. the gig was off the hook k.the regret is not mine. cos there are ALOT of hotchicks for u to pick.
shahidah; i dont haff picture siaa. but dont worry, it turned out okay.. and u've been long gone. hope to see you sooon.
nisucks;diammmla.i cut good hair okay! at least im nt cutting my own hairr. u want me to cut hair? i noe u wannn. woohoo.
nadia;YES.i CAN help u cut ur hair. and YES i want to meet u. cos i've alrdy met ati. now it's ur turn la kay.
after u done wit ur exams laa dat is. study hard okay.
anis; i wass disappointed like crazy when my slot got cut but i dont regret coming cos u wan to know why?
YOU ATI LINA made me day. ohhhh.i love girls.
DSC;congratts ! u people rocked the house! im proud of you guyss. woohoo.

ok dont suka2 fight at the taggboard k. lately, evrytg that has got to do with me is arguements and anger.
i'm beat sia.
"my name is kadafi, im from ite simei,
when i rap, evrybody run away."- quoted from somewhere in the gig. pfft. funny k.

i might be working on monday.
im just eager for postings.
ok dah, jumpa lagii!

2006-02-23T22:09:00.000+08:00

im lazy to update.
but anisfitri wants to see this entry here.

yes people. me and norlina cut anis hair.
we layered her hair and now she looks like the retro woman in stepford wives.
mr.faisal also want to cut his hair. padahal rambut pendek.pfft.

Yesyes,marimari/kami gunting rambut,FREE.
if you see good hair on the street,you can bet, it's our cut!
(slogan baru k)

that's it la people,take care.

2006-02-20T12:23:00.000+08:00

the motive of this paragraph is to make somebody jealous actualli.so dont mind me.
ehh,dil wanted to ask me up the stage laaa.he came to me and hulur his hand u noe.
he doesnt noe me but tkpla. hahah.
k dah.i better stop here. huuhuu.
totallybooked was one bad day,i dropped my ciggerates okay.yes,that was mine la siak!
half box full gone.kanasai lahhh.

im actualli nt ready for it ar.alone somemore.
im just too used to having more than 3 people with me on stage.
hehh. let's just see how 'lean' turns out first okay jajat.
thanks for the support.
being in a family comes in handy too ehh.goood.

i cannot argue when it comes to u,nadia.cos u're my sister.but u're getting worse when u patch with that skinnyfreak ugly boyfrnd of urs.left authorised behind bcos of one useless dick? tsktsk.
dont worry,i noe some other people who would do that too.i label them desperate.desperate for love.
sampai kawan pun letak blakang aisbox.
i cant believe u're willing to cut off frnds for that gangster wannabe.
forget it la. if temporary happiness is what u need then take it.
be grateful you dont get so much shit at home.
when i feel i have had taken enough of ur burden,all i can say is.
kau jagalah mat kental kau tu baik2. perang la nampaknyer.
*diam ah zul.*

its the 20th already,so...
HAPPY SEVENTEENTH TO YOU PUMPKIN.<<3
im watching u.

2006-02-16T18:06:00.000+08:00

okay.
im gonna regret having to blogg on emotional impulse.

U,seriously need english lessons.those who dont go up to u and laugh at u for ur terrible use of language,they're being a good friend and prolly just putting pity on u on the inside.

yes,i am ashamed.
and i am embarrased too for having to act this way.picky,fussy and arrogantly looking downwards on dimwitted idiots.unfortunatly it runs in the family.and unfortunatly i have been doing it since i knew u.
and i am angry cos u just dont want to listen to my advise.
im sorry.i just wanna gouge ur eyeballs out of their sockets.slash ur face with a dagger.
whack u with a baseball bat,kick u around and indulge pleasure in seeing u cry.
i admit,im disgusted with my sick attitude but only then can i pour my crying heart out with laughter.

before i chuck myself in the mental institution,
before i become a derange woman seeking for revenge,
i'll let this blow over quickly.
keep it a secret will u.
i dont wish to talk about this.

2006-02-14T22:54:00.000+08:00

never gave a thot for valentines but who wouldve thought it would turn out this way.it was a wonderful first-time-valentine for me. thanks anis,fateh,lina,ejat and ayie.u guys made my day la.i missed pool and i got to play it.Thanks for everything lah kay.sayang korng.

to top it of, ended the day with pumpkin. thanks for the surprise. the flowers and the teddy. woohoo.aha. thanks for the present la kay.thanks for the extraextra love than the usual days.lovelovelovelove u la. i still love u every other day.just with extra gratitude today.

my wonderful sister had to start of my morning like shit tho.dammit lah kay. aku rasa kau tkd matair lagi bagus.for god's sakes know ur limits la kalau yer pun.rumah kau kt wdls bukan toa payoh tau.dont let history repeat itself lah.tolongla. menyusahkan orang jer.arrgh.bebual pun tk guna.there's no brain in ur head for my words to go to.

2006-02-13T15:25:00.000+08:00

i officially feel like shit.
now i have to wait 3 weeks.

whatthehell.
i need a new haircut man.

run farz,run.
u need to get rid of that 500kg of fat down there.

2006-02-11T13:56:00.000+08:00

woman: (approaches another woman) eh,u look familiar eh.muka u macam kwn i ar. dia tgl daerah sini jugak.

what she actualli means: ehh.muka kau kt mana2 ada siol. baru aku nampak satu kt tep longkang smlm.plus,i haf nothing to say. so let's just playpretend that i noe u for a while.

k,so this just applies to my mum. pfft.
i hope i get that course at sp.
cheers. :)

2006-02-09T21:21:00.000+08:00

babat, babat go away.

one day of no smoking =1kg.
it's time to excersice babe.

i want cat.meow.

updates:/

Stop being a bitch la nadia.
u and some people.
motherfucks lah.
jangan cakap orang kalau diri sendiri tu pun mcm sial.
kita tau,dorng tau,semua tau.jad,benda yg paling sesuai kau buat, bukak mata,bukak telinga, cermin diri sendiri.
tk 24jam perbuatan kau tu betul faham.

one party is lying and i still dint get to smoke the muhfucker out.shit.
whatever actions u do, just come clean with it.
i cant stand people who just weasel away with evrytg.
and no,im nt talking abt the anisnana case.

and dont ask me what im blogging.
fuck it ah.
dont even bother dropping by here anymore.
aku boleh tulis satu buku kutuk2 sapa aku nak, and it'll be all fact.
kalau orang lain boleh buat,asal aku tkboleh?
jad kalau pape nk jadi pun, let it be in the open.
i hate people masking their faces with goodness.

now, time for me to focus on other things.
rathen than some people.post aku da tonggangterbalek pun.kimak.

oneday,the truth is gonna prevail.
ah,takkan jad nyer ar. ada je nk tipu2. pfft.

k, da. sampai sini je. aku malasss nk bebual pasal nie.
too much honesty for the readers to take in.
korang da boleh blahh.
bye.

*sorry im having my 4am mood swings cos nadia is bitching beside me. disturbing my sleep.
fucker.u'd want to punch her face if u were me.
and sorry for the violent output,pms ar.

2006-02-05T23:58:00.000+08:00

u can decide if u want ur pretty face to be broken or not.

and as for u,
it's not worth bitching abt ur frnd to his gf.
i dont know whats ur motive but nvm,i dnt wanna know.

lina is a crazy ass fart okay.haha.
kay, dont forget to get ur tickets for the 25th hiphop gig at wdls cc kay.
few good acts to catchh plus we can get our head sprung together.

heaaadsprung.

2006-02-02T02:26:00.000+08:00

SCENE ONE
faRz;(multi-tasking;watching king of queens on star world,eating chips and reading reader's digest.)
naD;(walks in and rudely changes channel to suria then to mtv.)
pussycatdolls videoclip was playing.
naD;(sings, waving towel,dance a little bit)donchu wish ur girrlfrnd was hot like me..donchu..
faRz;(looks at naD wit mukerrojak) nooo...
naD;(continues to sing going into the toilet)
faRz;tsk. (changes channel to starworld)

wahahah..funny okay.
BUT.
fatbuncit person #1; (complains to farz,doink,tsun,amsyar and tk tau sapa lagi) aah sial.da lah gemuk.kau tau,aku spot,bila dia da duduk,dia suka tarik baju dia.(does a demo)hahah.

(the rest keeps quiet,goes..heh)

faRz;(thinks,sakit hati)padahal almost all the fat ppl here do that.ape seh. nk kutuk pun agak2 ar.dia tk buat pape kat kau pe.

the whole point being;
why fat people like to diss other fat people fat.?it really doesnt make sense.

anyway, i miss playing pool.
wo puche tau.
ni de mama chio bu sial.
woohoo.

2006-01-30T14:59:00.000+08:00

why cant you be nice to me.
just as things were going to go perfect. u haf to cock everything up for me.
otw to work somemore. @#$&*! rosakkan plan jer.
now i haf to get a replacement just bcos u spoiled out on me.
i gave my evrytg to u sial. until my wallet kosong somemore.

fuck u lah,u bloody ezlink card.

2006-01-29T16:10:00.000+08:00

sunshine,here i come.
hee

2006-01-27T21:56:00.000+08:00

really.
weird how some people u dont really associate with have comments on you that can sometimes be ..
implying like as if they know u. like as if they have the right to put ur attitude in sentences accordin to their own opinions. padahal, tk kenal sangat pun.

if u dont know somebody,dont pretend u do.
pretendin u do doesnt even give u the right to pass judgment any old how.
macam faham jerr..
pffft.

2006-01-25T22:11:00.000+08:00

footnotes to feet u.

anis;
make sure u and fateh become regular at dome ah. nanti hilang2 lagi, @#$%^!
ehh, fateh looks like the girl version of aidil. haha.
but takpe. pretty jugak.=p nyum.kalau shida nampak conferm dia steam skejap. lol.

nisak;
and that's y i love u. wwoots-

nura;
i saw ur passport photo lah. ama apa elek. mushroom head!
tap skrg kakak da jambu arh. haha. jauh berbeza siakk. da takd zama gie clubbing pakai sweater kan.
long live skingerl. =p wakakaka..ni aku kasi kau ketawe ikhlas. u guys should listen to nura tell her growing up stories. roflmao.

nadia;
k. . hmm.. *cricket,cricket* heh. backstreetsbacks, alright!.
aku pun tk tau nk footnoot kau ape nad.hari2 pun aku tgk muka kau.

shida;
i have taken a turn and bcome straight. but dont worry,u'll always be in my heart...somewhere ar.
till then, *smakes forehead and run* ahhha. kau giler bodoh.

izza;
whaaat?bilang tau. ohh aah. camera camera.
i have yet to abuse ur digicam.nex time when we go town okay.
or..we wait until u grow taller ar. how? hahah.=p

zee;
kalau boleh dont want to say ar.
but ah, takpe. sorrie ah unkle.
hee-
c u around kays.
enjoy ur singlemingle life.

can i have my dessert of the week?
cute ah ni mamat. =p

my eyeballs sore to the fucking core.
i hate when this happens.
shitto lenses.

2006-01-22T23:19:00.000+08:00

angry?

u guys should really read this.
okay. not everybody la kay.

let's just leave comments open to nad, shidah and far kay?
im out.
dont discuss wit me any future events regarding sgp.
im not selling fish, neither am i a doctor anymore.
im not god,u people's survival dont depend on me.
dont look at me like u ppl are gonna crumble without me.
i suck, so it shouldnt be a big deal.
talk about it.

dont worry about what im gonna do.
i just wanna chill out. dont hate me for that.
alright, free slots to share anybody?

every once in a while we become hypocrites.
we become liars.
we become cheats.
we become selfish.
we become obsessive.
we become hateful.
we become greedy.

im dealing with it.
i cant make the whole world happy.
i want to make me happy.
so if nobody likes what im doing, dont nagg me.
im going over to my boyfriend's family.
oh well.
dome squards clique it is.
i know u're happy. u better be.im doin a whole lot for u. look at all the angry faces.
haiyah.

to end on a lighter note,
from today,zaid and i are officially.......

distant cousins.haha.

2006-01-21T11:58:00.000+08:00

i passed by the old chij bt timah and it was reduced to rubbles.
seday okay.
i thot abt the science garden, the sports day, hopscotch, monkey bars, days of collectin saga seeds and comin to school early to play imaginary friends wit my best friend.
i remembered the fun sports day for me and nad.
it's always the red team and blue team going for first and second place.
nad with her shorts and blue shirt. cute okay!
mcm nura jugak kecik2. hahaha.
semua rambut mushroom dulu. lol.

long live village idiot haircuts!

dammit. i forgot that it's my father's bdae on the 20th.
hayiaaa.

dammit people, stop calling me ana.
my name is farz.

2006-01-20T11:56:00.001+08:00

over a discman and vcd?
that's kinda childish dont u think?
i dont fancy that scrawny kid either but come on.
jgn world sangat la.nk bawak kahwin? pls lar.
i dint expect u to have this kind of stupid childish behaviour just bcos of a new gf.
plss lar kay.

im actually lazy to blogg. but i told niz im gonna jot this down on the net.
plus, uncle ginger told us that if we were to live up to a hundred, this would never happen again.
after two posers left yesterday, met niz's grandpa long lost friend from england.
had dinner.
had fun.
it was fun meeting mr anthony and mrs margeret. let's nt forget the pakciks.
it was kecoh in a nice way. these guys were very warm.
dont blame me, i was just excited. the train ride actually bcame shorter on the way home.
i actually hope to see these guys again.
okay, done.

happy sixteen month to u pumpkin.

2006-01-18T21:03:00.000+08:00

i want to tickle myself funny and hope the week goes by quickly.
pumpkin keeps gettin on my nerve whenever i wanna go out.

ZEE, KAU BABI BODOH. haha.
emzee sucks.=p
been jobhunting with two mothertunas.
tiring okayy..

nobody can do anythin abt it.
i've had enuff of procrastination from u guys.
want to call urself a crew? then haf some commitment and reponsibilities okay.
im getting up,im leaving.
i gave u guys a second chance.
i just cant be bothered already.
dont worry, i want to perform as much as u guys want to too.
u still can anyway.
move around, dont get stuck just bcos of one person.
im nt that hardup for instant exposure.
so? chill ah.

i doin this partly bcos of u.
be thankful.
im pushin my way thru evrything to make sure u're okay.
sometimes i feel like changing my mind, but i cant.
bcos im constantly reminded.
too soft a heart, too fickle the mind.

okayyy?gerek.
i'll see you when i see you!

2006-01-15T14:56:00.000+08:00

im out.
sgp,p6, semua.
e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.
okay? *thumbs up*
k.later can talk.

2006-01-12T01:17:00.000+08:00

it's been raining non-stop every single day.
it's suppose to be good but alot of people are getting sick.
i hate being sick.
im looking forward to sunshine so bad.
hmm.i feel like gettin myself a chocolate cigar.
hmmx..

poly come quick.
i need school money for ciggerate supply.
i need new clothes, new shoes. new evrything okay.
i hope i wont be the only nineteen yr old kid mingling wit the small seventeen yr olds.
thank god for the young face i haf. =p

i actually miss school.
the last time i really squeezed my brain was when i was in millenia institute.
in 2004!
i should be sitting for my a levels this year.
but heck, im back to square one.

bodoh.

2006-01-08T02:29:00.000+08:00

baseline.

it's alright if they shit behind u. be it left or right.
im gonn be here. bcos u're always there for me.
u helped me even tho i dint want help.
even after i pushed u away and felt like degrading u.
thank you for advising me, for teachin me to be more patient.
thank you for teachin me to withdraw my anger, to not be spiteful.
'u hit me once and im gonna hit u back twice' doesnt always work.
i know. im a little on the angry side.always.im sorrie.
but thanks for havin to go thru shits wit me.
let ppl judge, let them have their say.
but nobody is gonna see what kind of a person u really are.
sure,u're crazy. and whatever other ppl think bad of u.
but dont put urself down, cos u're the most true person next to i dontknowho.
thanks for bein just about my everything.
for being so kind and understandin okay.
and i thank u for not being like ur other friends.
thank you pumpkin.
i love u alot.
:)

that banyak2 emcees over nick's beat at speakeasy was menyakitkan hati okay.
i love performing with so many emcees jammed up together.
and i couldnt grabb myself by the collar and shove me up the stage.
tgk je dah excited okay! PLS get me on stage next time.
im addicted to the microphone alreadi siak.
tolong saya okae, saya boleh jadi giler kalau tk dpt perform.
lagi2 kalau ramai2 emcees.
so damn giler babi okay.
hurh.

2006-01-04T02:25:00.000+08:00

time to move on..

collaborations anyone?

2006-01-03T01:55:00.000+08:00

time flies by and people change, right?
so i guess a change be it good or bad is inevitable.
but what should i do if my good friend is turning bad.
dont ask me.i dont know.
help?
im never gonna be against u. u're gonna think im a bad person and all.
it's up to you. infact, out of evrybody, im the only person who's tellin u to go.
im takin a very big risk to say this to you.
u dont wanna sacrifice ur happiness. but dont forget that u're sacrificing other ppl's happiness in the process.
i dont know who but im sure there are.
im sayin this cos im ur friend. and i care a whole lot.
it's so damn hard tryin not to be blunt and being blunt sayin this.
i dnt wanna be one of those to help u ruin urself.
if i were not to care abt u, i wont even be sayin this to u.
u wan to know y? bcos it's ur life u're ruining, not mine. y should i bother right?
hanging out wit friends, comin home late to nura's is fun.
of course. hangin out outside the whole mornin is even more fun.
until when?
and eversince then u're startin to change.
u're startin to bcome a..
i dont wanna say it.
so pls dont make me say it okae.

and pls stop sayin my boyfriend is cute.
once or twice it's okae.
but u've said it tooooo many times and im gettin a tad uncomfortable.
sorry if im not comin up to you and sayin this.
i have a few more things i dnt wanna say to u bcos i love u and dont want u to think otherwise.
haiz.
godhelpme.icantbeliveimstressinoutoverthis.
goddammit.

well at least i still got my sister and pumpkin.
<3

2005-12-31T03:10:00.000+08:00

2005.
2005 sucks.

so many shit things happend.
2006 better be good for me.
time to stepp up.
school wise ,music wise, rltnshp wise. whatever it be.
:D
alone or not alone.

tho bad the year,it was a steppin stone.
-marks my first yr wit pumpkin 3mths ago.
-got to know aunty.
-made new friends.
-lately, i kinda enjoy performin wit tsun and all. thanks you guys.
-i love my sister, i love pumpkin, i love my friends.
-i found out that when u come across unreliable breakdance "performers". dont bother pursuing the matter. bcos they only smangat seminit. agreed?
-learnt to really forgive and forget.
-couldnt stopp smoking. :(
-dropped out from school. =/
-got my parents really really really really angry.
-entered p5. oh yes! i choked for the first time. haha. may that be the last.
-gotten ppl angry from blogging. hehh. haha.
-learnt to be optimistic. abit. :)

i dnt haf much time to recollect on the whole year.

but!dont forget 24 may okae.
5 more months.
im gonna be on my last teen. while nad's gonna be twenty.
i cant believe its goin by so fast.
i cant believe nad's twenty!

hehh. and so all the small kids will get a year older.

i really really really hope 2006 is gonna be a nice year for me.

happy new year u guys.
cheers.
:)

and to the idiot who tagged at nadia's taggboard.
-ur parents are conjoined pussies.
and u're just full of tits.

2005-12-29T15:32:00.000+08:00

will be right back.

2005-12-25T19:13:00.000+08:00

cn those involved for the 29th get back to me a.s.a.p?
i want to know if u guys wan to perf. or not. if nt i'll get the slot cancelled.
pass the word arnd allright.
thanks.

2005-12-23T01:32:00.000+08:00

im gonna put this down bcos afterall it's a stepping stone to ..whatever's waiting for me later on la. watever lar..

k,anyway.
i sat at that staircase nt knowing whatodo oready.
i actually prayed. *woa*
i actually prayed for god to give me the strength.
realising that god is the only closest thing to me that wont shout and yell back at me or hurt me afta all the shits i've done to him.
im sorrrie god.i realli am.
i was praying for him to give me the willpower to stick to my principles.
for me not to bend with the wind. for me to carry on with what i want despite anythin gettin in the way.
i was super lost. not knowing what to do or where to run for shelter or whom to trust.
i can only talk with my mouth shut.
i prayed for god to help me decide what's good for me.
at that moment, i thot about my parents.
*susahnakdapatokae* i felt that ..they're right. and im wrong. im wrong, u're wrong.
i shoulda listen to them.

life goes on, i know.
i feel happy happy now. of course.
im still ..undecided.
but that sadness.that fear. that moment of not knowing where to go. that wanting to runn away was so BIG.
BESAR macam gajah okaeee.i realli did not knowww what to do AT ALL.

and therefore, i shall rate this moment as;

the TOP 3 most memorable moment ever.
not in a good way okae.
thank you, thank you. :D
c ya'll later okae.
byebye.

2005-12-21T14:29:00.000+08:00

yaya dan redha

chheessey chumpshot.

watch moviee.

nisucks,boncet,mimi,farz

farz & haikal & nisucks.

thanks for putting up wit evrythng okae.
happy 15th,pumpkin.

shut up haikal.

2005-12-16T01:33:00.000+08:00

when some ppl say some hurtful thingsto some ppl, it's ok.
haiya.
when it comes out of me,evrytg is wrong.
it's ok for some ppl to go arnd saying fuck her or fuck that aunty.
(mind that im not includin the other stuffs.
bear with this for a moment)
but it's not ok for me to say-fore heads up. urghh.
not ok for us to even put upfront an obvious fact.
i, personally, find it extremely dumb.and my words dnt even include a swear word.
how interesting.
merepek seh.
stop it lahh.

kla2.we give chance okae.
before i die, i want to say sorry for the very small truths i push upon anyone's faces. just like i told ejat.
smart boy.

i PROMISE to not be so blunt with my words, ok?
walauweh,
i still love u kids what.betol k, tk bedek.

oh, and doesnt matter who tagg ar. actualli senang nak figure out.
i figureed it out in... half a minit.
haha. so cute.
kk dah. dah habes.
tukar topic.

i want to go bugis street la dei.
i want shopppping!
k2.patience.
kel,niz,nad. let's go shopping!

2005-12-14T02:04:00.000+08:00

i edited the last post cos the words are rated unsuitable for kids below 18.

mal,i hope u burn in hell for bein such a bloody hypocrite. you talk ALOT dont u.
small kid.
karma will defintly come around for u.

oh and mal, there is still vacancy in ~~valentia~~ for u mal.
fore-heads up.

u're gonna find someone better.
love u nad.
take care of urself okae.
and i still want to see u arnd. fo sure.

2005-12-12T01:01:00.000+08:00

NURA

biler mau sheesha!?

yang bawah umur, duduk dome je laa korang.
doc turnin 18 next month.
let's all keropok him.
shall we.

siang2 he scared alreadi.
=pppp.

ohoh. and freakyz was so cute when he suddenly stopped cos i caught him dancin alone inside d booth.
haha.
how cute. peace.
(sorry pumpkin. u're cuter ok. :D)

moral of the story.
get drunk the night before u perform.
not.

2005-12-10T11:40:00.000+08:00

especially for nura.
a big phat black hayabusa for u.
no, aku tak duit nak beli yg betul punya.

i cant wait.
i did saw the whole judgement thing on the digressing forum.
despite what happend last time, i tink im done did over that and im glad
we're nt that much of a procrastinator alrdy.
what to do. busy bunch of kids.
well except for me lah.

happy bdae december babies.
My mum.
Haikal.
Fahmi.
Afiq.
Ejat.

ok.
im done.
bye.

2005-12-07T00:48:00.000+08:00

i initially thot this is one bigfuck stupid movie when i saw the trailer.
but u know what? (dont say u dnt know cos i havent told u)
the big headed chick at cathay cwp looks so cute i had to touch it even tho it had a sign dat said please do not touch.

oh, hairil reminded me of little lulu.
i miss watchin little lulu okae.

3 things that reminds me of.

nadia
-dat stupid dale don dale song.
-winter melon tea.
-anakmelayu.com

nisak
-grass
-mickey mouse
-texas 5 bluee

nura
-big naked butt in the hospital. hahahah.
-clubbing people.
-spoiled computer.

shida
-sexy boy lookalike pictures.
-ramadhan *lol.sorry shida*
-midas_touch.pitas.com

pumpkin
-lebron james
-slouching tall giant with small head and big body.
-fnn grape.

ati
-skirts
-big round sunglasses
-and other bunch of 14 yr old kids. ;p

my parents
-big black mpv
-makcik
-pakcik.

k dats it. im tired.
good night.

2005-11-30T11:24:00.000+08:00

2005-11-29T03:01:00.000+08:00

*knockknock*
"whos there?"
"nadnurafaz"
"oh.u guys still alive eh?"
all together now.- "aaahaaaa"

well i hope nobody forgets that we still are.
sometimes people talk but dont walk the talk.
guess some things will never change.
it's ok. we're here for help. but at other times
... *cricket,cricket*
susah carik,senang tak ingat.
tkpla, pumpkin ada.
before u guys think im goin too far in assumin.
u guys dont have to say anythin that's against this post.
i'll stop here. the rest is up to u to weigh out both sides on ur own.
pandai2lah fikir. and be sure not to layblame on situations or whatever else u got in mind.
fair enuff, i wash my hands clean.
just like what my gfs would say too. each to their own.
tolak balak sini sana pun tk bawak faedah.
i just wanna see the output of this post.
i bet it's not gonna change anythin anyway.
haiz.
anyway,
been grumpy and temparemental too much lately.
but it's ok. it's all good and i have the gerls at work to keep me going also.
see u kids soon.
love u pumpkin.
love u gerls.
take care.

m

2005-11-27T04:11:00.002+08:00

im gettin a little sick in the brains.
cant help but remember.
scary, scary. tsk.
can i just repeat the whole story until i get that shit out of my system?
i need a temporary lj.
it's like a memory parasite stuck onto my brain.

no pumpkin, its not working.
i hope it goes away soon too.

m

2005-11-27T04:11:00.001+08:00

2005-11-24T01:59:00.000+08:00

evryday i'd think abt how u're doin.
i hope u're doin ok.
i guess nothin else fills my mind at work.
not even 70% of it is abt pumpkin.
all i can think abt is food and my froggie.
i miss her ok.
i'd daydream at work thinkin she's gonna come and surprise me. hehh.
im goin nuts.

friendster is so fucked up la k.
it's damn bloody slow ok.

so evry1's gotta go for auditions.i guess that's fair.
our song's still not done yet.
guess that makes it two then for next month.
all due to busy procrastinatin kids.
also gonna be slashed back since now evry1's workin and im on afternoon/nights on the weekdays.
busy,busy. tsk.
catch you kids later ok.
c ya when i c ya.

2005-11-21T01:34:00.000+08:00

no more froggie for me.how?

when i blogg,i always put before hand to what i wanna say. which part of it will go out to some ppl
who i know drops by here. i have so many things to say to u, most of which i cannot put in words.
easier said, im disappointed.don't do stupid things just to save face.and in the process hurt others.
come to accept reality as it is. ive said before,im gonna be there for my frnds thru shits.
but dada, dont be greedy.for in turn,u will have to pay a much higher price. bear in mind,that whatever goes on, even if u keep things a secret shall blow one day. and when that day comes,u wont be able to save ur face anymore.u should know by now, what goes around will come around. and karma has its way of sneekin upon ppl's back.

2 whole weeks of afternoon shift.
less of pumpkin.
haiyah.i love u pumpkin.
happy 14thmonth to us!

missing niz already. =(

2005-11-15T23:55:00.000+08:00

prettyful yellow sunshine.
there's lots of love to go around for everybody.
don't look for it, it'll look for you. :)
take care kids.

2005-11-12T02:42:00.000+08:00

tau,takape.

now,that i have somethin to say.i shall update u guys on the 411.
*hiphop talk* hahhha.ok2.

it's actually not right for you guys to judge ppl's love life thru ur eyes.
it's nt right for us,as friends to tell each other that her current love of her life is not gonna be 'the one'.
or..ur rltnshp is just to pass by time or whatsoever.
it's nt right, just bcos we're very vocal to each other.
what makes us pro-lovers anyway right?
we're just gonna make her confused.im nt sayin this just so to avoid her old attitude of puttin bf first.
no.
what if i were to lets say, pick on rara. and say, ur rltnshp may be good now, but im pretty shurre u're gonna end up with a wife beater. no,that's not right.cos im not goin thru what she is.altho i see it.with my eyes.

so please.whatever's gonna happen, be it good or bad. leave it. it is what that builds experience and makes us who we are today.

there have been many wantings of me, to erase pumpkin's past.my past.but it's what that made us.
to be better for each other.

so instead of u guys, debating on which guy is better for her.
let's just be there when she falls.
cos only she will know her own deep feelings and needs inside.
we dont.
so, we have no right to come to any conclusion.
i have never agreed upon rara and dd saying this and that abt nad when she was wit mat.
bcos couples comes in all sorts of different types.
friends are not made to belittle their own friends.
we're not fortune tellers. we can deduce and assume out of situations.
but other ppl's future are not in our hands to mould.
whatever happens, be it.
just be there to help one another.
okae?

i hope you guys understand.
and to those who takdkenamengena dgn ni post.
i dnt wanna see post tremors of these topic popping up in ur bloggs.
(unless it has something to do with a little girl accusing her so called ex-bestfrnd shits and posting judgmental nuts like
'kau besar kan nonok' or sumthin.LOL.)
i KNOW i dont need any unwanted smart cynical views from u little kids.
thanks yah.

anyways,on the lighter side of this post, i got myself a motorola v600.
it may not be the newest hp. but it's not in the market anymore.
so im preeety shurre i wnt bump into anyone usin the same hp as me.
k.paper is over. time to get meself a job.
see ya when i see ya.

2005-11-06T14:29:00.000+08:00

actually, it wldnt matter what happens.
at the end of it all, after the talks and the thots.
i honestly have got to say tt nothin will come out of it.
it's inevitable. u still haf to go. and even if ur heart comes to a conclusion.
nothin can happen bcos u cant be here. =(

he's being unfair to two very good people. but if i were him, i wld haf probly done the same.
he's doing this bcos he wants u to know the truth. i can feel his heart cry. but tell me what's gonna happen
in five months time? or one?
it's still gonna remain the way as it is before he found out the truth.
u'll forever be in his memory. but neither of u can pursue anythin.
bcos it's close to impossible.
that is unless u stay in singapore lah.
=/then im sure another path will open itself up.

one suggestion.
throw the old paper out.
write a new one. write a new one to both.handwritten.
this is as much as i can put here.
we can always talk ryte..
love ya.

i finally undastand what'sit like to have an assholic fucking bastard as a sibling.
and so, it's better if i dnt even bother explaining myself to u shithead who so much fucking kissparentsass.
fuck u farhan.
fuck u and ur little fucking brain.
fuck u n ur fucking mouth.
talking to u is fucking useless.
when im angry enuff im gonna fucking whack u up and make sure u fucking cry ur brains out.
just like the old times.i fucking miss whacking ur fucking scrawny ass and seeing u fucking cry like a fucking little shithead.
stop it ok.
why are you being so fucked up when ppl have been good to u.
it's fun to u. but its not funny to us. once again
FUCK U FARHAN.
fucker.
i fucking hate dis hari raya.
and i fucking hate my family too.

2005-11-03T11:09:00.000+08:00

SELAMAT HARI

kalau ada tersalah cakap ke type ke ape2.
jgn marah ehh.
sorry pumpkin.
sorry aunty.
sorry biondol tower gfs.
sorry budak2 dome cacat irritating annoying.
sorry millenia kids.
sorry fucktard evgians. heh.
sorry nafa kids.
and all of my other frnds too.
ok.
dont eat so much ok,ltr gemok mcm babi.
and sorry to u bcos u're annoying,baru brapa days,weeks and im sick of ur attitude.
k. jangan tak datang rumah.
have a nice raya u guys.
muahs.

2005-11-01T14:25:00.000+08:00

POST REEDITED.
heeheehh. boring la siak duduk ruma.
raya punya pasal ahh.. k.
the rest of the entry in unbold is still intact.
im just gonna copypaste a little sumtinsomethin on geminis. ape nak jadi, im startin to bcome abit like shida. ni semua kau punya pasal shida. horoscope horrors. it's ironically true btw.

Gemini is the third Sign of the Zodiac, and those born under this Sign will be quick to tell you all about it. That's because they love to talk! It's not just idle chatter with these folks, either. The driving force behind a Gemini's conversation is their mind. The Gemini-born are intellectually inclined, forever probing people and places in search of information. The more information a Gemini collects, the better. Sharing that information later on with those they love is also a lot of fun, for Geminis are supremely interested in developing their relationships. Dalliances with these folks are always enjoyable, since Geminis are bright, quick-witted and the proverbial life of the party. Even though their intellectual minds can rationalize forever and a day, Geminis also have a surplus of imagination waiting to be tapped. Can a Gemini be boring? Never!
Since Geminis are a mix of the yin and the yang, they are represented perfectly by the Twins. The Gemini-born can easily see both sides of an issue, a wonderfully practical quality. Less practical is the fact that you're not sure which Twin will show up half the time. Geminis may not know who's showing up either, which can prompt others to consider them fickle and restless.
They can be wishy-washy, too, changing their mood on a simple whim. It's this characteristic which readily suggests the Mutable Quality assigned to this Sign. Mutable folks are flexible and go with the flow. Further, the Twins are adaptable and dexterous and can tackle many things at once. It's a good thing, too, when you consider their myriad interests. The downside of such a curious mind, however, can be a lack of follow-through. How much can any one person do, anyway?

i'm still living my mundane life. only to start cussing knowing my mum is no longer on permanant night shift. but she loves night shift so hopefully she gets herself transfered back to nightwork.
if not..
that means less of pumpkin and biondol gfs. less of coming home after midnight.
no more tower session. wargh!
i was just gonna plan stuffs for the gf's.
what a dragg.

at least the indians got sth to be glad abt.
happy deepavali musibatkaupehlakihitam.
aku gah bingit pasal case mamak musibat2 tu.

no translation needed here.

2005-10-30T14:42:00.000+08:00

MSGOS OF DA DAY.

aunty:
aunty, dont get so angry.
aunty, what's been goin on?
how come u're so angry at so many ppl?
aunty, dont like that lah, juz talk.
its hard gettin evryone happy altogether lahh. haiyo.
juz hope evry1 doesnt get angry over the wrong reasons.
things may get complicated over a misunderstandin.
tap jgn tak talk things out dulu sebelum make hash accusations ok.
froggy, dntn like that ok.
u're gonna go off. i dnt want u doin so wit this kinda anger inside.
love aunty.

nura:
im glad that eversince dd got into sgh and all and even lately before that,
u two are getting better in so many ways.
i know things have been shit for u both. it's even hit rockbottom at a point.
but..
it's pickin up. told u im shure of it. =D
love dinosour and monster.

Hana:
kecik,i got ur msgos.
keep hair long2 then take picture i wan to see.
dont worry, u'll get him.
bocs hannaisirrisistablleee. ;))
love kerinting little kontol.

ShiDa:
HEEEhhhhEEhhh! kau tak tau asal aku ketawe kann?
HEEhh HEehh.
i dnt love biol.
biondol. =))

ReDha:
Ape cakap?
ape jadi?
tak love irritating little basterd.

FaR:
unkle, check beats-society.com.
aku tau kau tk pernah jejak tmpt tu.
like as if u care abt the lame hiphop scene in this small piece of land.
hahah. ok go-
love unkle wit big ears.

NaDia:
...tkdpape. hari2 aku tgk muka kau kt ruma.
hurrh.
tap takp, se irritating kau jugak tap aku love kakak aku.

izza:
hello pendek.
bye pendek.
=p
love pendek.

pumpkin:
uhm..
love u pumpkin.
=))

you:
thank you.
=)

ahh.what the hell.i dnt wanna know whatever's going on.
nobody wants to bring it out in the open. yeah, bitch abt it in bloggs.
pls lar ppl, i dnt know what's going on or if this shits even exists.
but pls. have the brains to know we're all humans wit feelings.
tkplah. i give up.
saya tak nak tahu pape k.
cheers =))

2005-10-26T05:13:00.000+08:00

had bondage wit the gerls.cool eh.
how porn-y! hehh.

why ahh.
some ppl thinks that the whole world have to revolve around them.
that evrybdy must be there for them when the world tumbles arnd them.
then complain that so and so wasnt there thru this and that shits.
dah tak happy, lepas tu kutuk. ni lah orang. bebual tak fikir perasaan orang lain.
fikir sal diri sendiri.diss just to satisfy their own soul.
standard.
step mcm orang lain semua takd problems sendiri gitu.
tkp, dlm dunia ni ada satu orang je yg ada masalah dan perasaan.kaulah yg segala-galanyer.
makkkauuu... peh self-centered.
tkboleh angkt la siak aku bdk2 kecik mcm gini.
kerja tau nak whine aje.
nak group hugg kan?awwwww...so suweeet.
*rolls eyes at you 9,467 835 times*
puhhleasee,fall down,get up and GET OVER IT ALREADY lahh.

so y can't ppl remember the good things and instead, choose to take in the wrong perception.

that's all for tonight's bullshit, kids.
remember, dnt take anytin' on the net seriously. hahha!
if anyone needs a shoulder to cry on, beep me lah kae.
if my hp is off, u guys can call..
1800-im-a-loser-and-i-cant-handle-my-own-problems.(toll free)
ehh.im digressing alrdy sak.better stop it.
tak baik sak aku.k2.
take care.

2005-10-24T02:23:00.000+08:00

fuck ahh.
before u go.
I WANT TO.

one) Drums.
two) Cut your hair *abit lah kae*
three)Neoprints with nadia.

im trynna get a job. preferebly admin and wdls.i dnt mind sales.
no fnb tho'.im fucking sick of it.
kalau ada lobang, beep saya eh.pleaseee.
then we can work together2.at least got kawan right.

k. happy belated thirteenth month pumpkin.

p.s:nura, shida rabaak ahh korang. keluar tak ajak.
yelar, yelarr.

2005-10-20T23:19:00.000+08:00

im fucking bored.
today is one boring day.

i just blogged to say xcapists ..they're dope lah.
tkboleh angkat.

happy birthday to u,
happy birthday to u,
happy birthday to izz-ati.
happy birthday to u.
eat ur greens up so tt u cn grow taller.=p
no, im nt tall either. but i dnt tink i cn grow anymore.
keep on bein wittyand crazy as you always are.
ati, ati nak rokok tak?
nanti kakak ajar smoke k?
wahahahahaha.
k.jangan hisap rokok. it makes u ugly.
then u'll end up looking like me.
i bet u dnt want that to happen.
lol.
sayang kau pendek.

i waaaaaant a license. nt anytimg yet ah, tsun.
tunggu kakak kumpul duit dulu lah k.
still undecided whether to take private or what.
i'll wait until i haf enuff cash then i'll consult my parents.
skrg, gua mau kerja dulu babe.

k.im done.
byechibai.

still waiting...
mana kau singpost postman..aku nk mp3 aku lahhh..

2005-10-19T13:54:00.000+08:00

dedicated to the one and only, retarded.

i find this a little weird. i hope i dont come off soundin gay or somethin. if u know what i mean.

it's freaky the way i found somebody who's so darn familiar to me in so many yet different ways at the same time. the one who EVERYBODY who doesnt know us thinks im her sister.
doesnt matter, cos they know im the older one. wakakakaka....
she'll be the one to accompany me durin my school-skippin days.
and sit-in with me for lecture. the first person who made fadli laugh out loudly.
the one who just doesntgivesadamn. and smokes like a dragon.
the one who promised me not to drink and 5minits later coerced me to taste tigerbeercoke.
the one who loves to treat her friends to food and whatnot. and runs away from money when we pay her back.
like, literally force u to take back ur money.
funny right. that's niz the belo for u.
she forced me into crossin a sunken beach path to a waterbreaker. i was FUCKING scared ok.
she made us wore shoes and walk arnd in my house at 3am in the morning until i stepped on cat food. (semua salahkan niz)
we dissed ayah pin.
we had blind2 morning dinner (that's pagi2 buta for u).
i had so much fun.
im really really really gonna miss u froggy. not just me, nad and evry1 else will too.
im gonna miss u a whole lot. feels like im breaking up with my bf siol. hahah. slenger.
i love u alot alot.
im nt gonna say goodbye.
its just a take care.

a friend comes along evryother day. but an aunty comes along once. this sucks siol.
=(

i need a license. so by the time we meet up next next next time.
we can go cruisin'. yay.
for now...let's smoke sommore lah k.

...

k. i bcame one of the boys yesternite.
it was a rippin headache. i had to tahan kel's blaring music and then ferus nonstop talkcock.
it was funny lah tapi. as some of u know. he's very spontaneous wit his words.
nak aje aku tempeleng muker dia.
till then~

2005-10-16T23:37:00.000+08:00

freaky isnt it.fukin similar.
look at that infectious smile.
we call it ..the froggie smile.
do the froggie smile.
muka satu2 mcm katak.
mcm siakk.

he was in the dressin booth complaining it's rimas.
i took an L, and he was suddenly admiring himself in the mirror. shrugging his shoulders wit his cap sitting on his head so high.wit that nigga attitude.
bongok siakk. nak step cool jer. lpas tu admire diri sendiri kat cermin.wakakaka...

slenger_one da jadi cool_one.

first im gonna...___
then im gonna ..umm.. ___
then i shall wait for raya money to roll in before i get anytin else.
im still young ok. im onliee 18. raya money is essential la k. not a privilage.
afta tt i'll get a job.

see ya at P6 aite kids.
cheers.

the joy of online shoppin'. come to mama, u pretty mp4.
heheheheheh.
and then i can say, zaman bila mau pakai mp3.

selok belok melayu punyer perbualan.

2005-10-11T00:50:00.000+08:00

okae.
so i went to jb today wit pumpkin just to get ciggies cos i was in dying need of gudang garam merah you see.
kin's dad warned him nt to bring extra ciggies in cos it'll cost 200 smackaroos if we get caught.
he abit kedi. so he followed what his dad said.
but you know, buang2 mase seberang jembatan kalau tk amek xtra.
so, yea. what the hell. i put 2 double gees inside my jeans and declared a marlboro.
so yeahh. first time beb!
hahahah. Ciggaretes galore. *jgn mintak aku rokok lah cibai*

nyeaheaheaheah.
kemut sial farz.

haiyaa. i really felt like slapping ur face. serious punyer talking.
i know i push ur buttons like all the time.
bt once u push mine, i'll bcome super pushy.
but u were like SUPER irritating.
so i bcame SUPER annoyed.
and SUPER like wantd to slap ur face.
at tt point of time i SUPER wanted to turn ur head. and SUPER jotos ur
forhead.
and i cant stand the SUPER attitued u just..gave birth to.
punyer lah SUPER tk bolehh angkatt!

so yeah lorr..
i SUPER sayang u too.
hehh.

have a SUPER day kids.
love u many2.

p.s:
im lookin for any1 whos want ta buy an adidas superstar 35th anni. sneakers. white shoe wit blue stripes.
with 35th anni. superstar printed all over with its logo.
size 8 usa. its too big for me and it hasnt been worn before.
pass the word arnd. thanks.
price negotiable.

2005-10-08T22:51:00.000+08:00

for so long, it's d first tym i hugged smelly and cried.
it withstood so many of my whines and bullcrap history from exboyfriends to olevels to parent clashing.
i hugged it like how i used to hugg it. like my very own bestfriend. alive but motionless.
alright. baby's back in buisness.

so kental.
but so suweeet.

2005-10-07T23:58:00.000+08:00

who in the whole wide world is 4dot4?
ldc cnt perf. no featuring.
and suddenly out of who's butt hole came out ...
4dot4?
oklah. so shahrul's gonna be performing.
mayb their the replacin act for ldc.

still...

what the hell...

phuckers.
this, ive got to watch.

far.babilah far. babilah far.
babilah far.babilah far.
diam ahh ghaffar.

2005-10-06T17:12:00.000+08:00

great. hurgh. i accidentaly dleted my latest post for my coupled friend.
fuck chinese blogging.
to cut it short, as long as u're happy, i'm COOL.
alah, but no matter what i know im cool lah kan.
hehh. slenger.

im bending my own rule. how greatt.
sooner or later im gonna trip on myown shoelaces.
behave urself farz.
stop it.

i promise.
i promise.
i promise.

sorry pumpkin.

doesnt matter, im nt turning out to be like some other her or her. her and that other her.

take care kids.
happy fasting.
once again.
cheers.

2005-10-04T17:20:00.000+08:00

SGP.
kids. thursday is session day. be free EVERY thursday.
recordin will be postpone to next week.
thank you.
personal assistant, beatmaker and aunty invited.
pass msg arnd ok.
terima kasih.

2005-10-01T13:48:00.000+08:00

yellow and pink

no.not my brother. my crazy 4 yr old cousin.

no.not my dad. my annoying uncle. hehh.

evrtyg's been going a-ok. evryone's been happy. im glad.
k, anyway-
can far or ahmad or shah get back to me asap if you see this.
yess. thank you.
thanks for the erm, tip? we'll be going tt direction now.
niz, can you get evryone to be free this coming saturday afternoon?
thank you. evrytg has to be done asap so tt far will be able to make it.

2005-09-26T22:43:00.000+08:00

hwa hwa hwa hwo.
diz software is stressin me.
d final beats shah gave has a diff intro than the sample.
d sample sounds better lehh shah. snare dia hilanggg!!.
k. anyway.
happy advanced birthday to:
izzati.
hafiz.
romeo.
who's the october babies?
im old. i cnt remember. happy birthday u guys.

2005-09-25T17:24:00.000+08:00

nadia.
this one is for u.

u're annoying.
i talk to u but u nvr want to talk back. all dat ever comes out of u is in ur taggboard.
u sulk and then dnt even look in my face.
anyway, i personally feel dat u're nt putting ur all. even if u are, it doesnt show.
have the brains. think to why i volunteer myself to perform with other ppl.
bcos we ppl procrastinate. too much. learn our lesson lah.
ape jadi kt platform 5 yg bodoh nk mampos tu. psl satu perf bodohh nk mampos tu.
ppl judge us by dat shit siol. kau lagi boleh chill. keemaks. do sth abt it lah. *lagipun far dnt mind. see goddamit, he understands*
and dnt gimme bullshit. i nvr regret helping ejat and afiq out.
valentia phlow. they got more semangat than u do.
im nt leaving sgp bcos i treasure the talents we have.
ejat may be a good hidden lyricist and afiq, the malay rap. i feel i got far. much more better. our own eminem. and rnb singers. u guys cn bring it pop. we just nvr give ourself the chance, furthurmore the effort to elevate. i treasure shidah and far.
do sth to let me know tt u got what it takes. im being daft. im being sardin. im being blardy honest here.
u got talents. so damn bloody show it. u got the voice. damn bloody open ur mouth to SING.
cos i cnt hear it. dnt tink dat ur voice is terrible. it's good. juz gotto do it with ur full heart and soul.

thanks for taking ur time to read this.
i love u guys.

pictures only

2005-09-21T14:21:00.000+08:00

nadia says 'fuck u'

birthday boyy.

eeeee.

midnight slack.

2005-09-20T13:29:00.000+08:00

sometimes wen ppl think its true love, its actually all just one big fake lie.
fear under pretend smiles. i wonder whats the motivation.
its like a main course of stupid, with a side dish of extra large stupid. free upsize of stupidity. and an additional
serving of stupid. all for free.
kenyang k.
pumpkin told me nt to be kaypoh.so, i wnt. who wld like other ppl stickin their noses into their underwear anyway. just hope ur past wont repeat itself. yet again.n again.
bcos watever title u wanna haf, be it good gf or not. u shld nvr bend ur back backwords for any guy.
if ure unhappy say it. otherwise, u gt frnds to he lp u. we all love u. u fell many many times for sweet words.
so be extra cautious k. love u tooo. heh. but babe, dnt rush urself. havin a bf is nt thee most impt thing.
better to stay single. beats getting hurt yeah?. dnt rush. esp if it's wit sumbody new. u cnt put ur heart in a stranger's hand. he'll crush it sooner or later anyway. confirmation. so guard ur heart. and dnt put ur whole. for now, dat shld be razil. if u're happy now. im happy for u. if u're nt happy then u better be happy. forget the past.
and remember. dnt make urself a slave to love. omfg. i hate dat stupid destiny's child song.
cater to u is stupid. its degrading to woman. assshit.

k anyway. its pumpkins bday. a year back, on this day. was d 'it' day. so yeahh..
one yr later..its today lahhh!. so.
happy anni. and happy bdae my dearest pumpkin.
i lovvve u many2. u rock my world ok.
muuackz.
wakakak..

i miss sgp-ians.

2005-09-17T03:33:00.000+08:00

"ur father must be an eye surgeon cos ur beauty blinded me."
and so d best pick-up line came from a girl. far and hans mmg tkboleh diharap.
i think i used to be a lesbian.heheheheh.
is far going zouk tmrw? NIZ!! BILANG GRACE!!.
lol.

i miss sgp. these cool kids rock my socks like nobody does.
they're just diff. from any other malays i know. nt d top notch emcees. but dope enuff. and cool
chill people.
i love these kids so much.

haiz.
im dead meat.

2005-09-13T18:00:00.000+08:00

im gonna haf to start intense revision for this stupid shit maths paper.
ive been on this once a week tuition n im doing my paper with forgotten formulas.
n i practically dnt know how to do n cldnt be bothered to complete the papers. so i jst do sums halfway and copy the answers of ejat. hehh =)
im lagging. im 18 n i took o lvls wen i was sec 4. 2 yrs ltr n im still a nobody. tkp. still got other hopeless kids like me.
shldve taken dat paper last yr but nooo..i was too busy being a c.i dropout. heh.
it was A lvls down to dploma. and now im retaking my maths.
stupid shit. attitued-problem. heh.

ok well anyway, let me start daydreaming for awhile.
after my maths paper im gonna start working n get a new phone.
thanks to pumpkin im with moto E398. it's been with me for a while and he's stuck with 3315.
heh.

well, whatever's going on in this world.things are getting shit at home.
but it's not doing tt bad with frends. whatever tt has happend, hope at least my frnds are happy.love u kids.
i need to re-alter my jeans for the frekin 3rd time.i wan it fit,it's still lose. and i think im gonna need shida's mum's help.
heh.

ok kids. till my next post.
erm... if you're smoking, dnt forget to steng with me.
=))

2005-09-11T02:07:00.000+08:00

aftermath of skatefest.
too bad skaters dnt haf crazy crowds.
they just haf crazy kids running for circa stickers.
giler punya orang. hah.

anyway,niz,sorry tk ajak. hehh.=p

um.ok.i haf a terrible family. shithead parents, takboleh diharap peh dengki farhan, anti-social fadli and irritating emo kakak. heheh. oh. i still haf english speaking nyonya niz and slenger ol pumpkin. then there was a killer nurse and her grape-selling adek who now has a new job. thanks to lazyness, i keep in touch with my old frends...once in a while.

nw that's what i call pure anti-socialism.

i rock.

till then, dnt make too much noise at the void deck kids.
nyonya having sex upstairs.
cheers.

2005-08-31T13:26:00.000+08:00

hoho...
i sneezed and my saliva is all over tha laptop screen.
unhygenic punya motherfucker. hahah.
ok enuff of dat.

deep inside, we all dnt care. and yes, we haf spotted him. world. :) find a pink rubbish bin. we'll see whose head it reaches first. wait ah uncle, u no need to bother. aunty also dnt gif shit one. no need pretend. cos im also tired of pretending ok. ok.take care. :)

omfg, i felt like so fucking small. nyeahheheheh.

ohh. and suddenly imran's getting cute. lol. just thinking abt it makes me n niz laugh. cos we used to dislike him and now he's bcoming all kind and cute. ok. no wonder we were all giggling at kembangan cc the other day. hahahah.k.

till then. jgn pakai seluar tinggi sangat.

2005-08-28T15:22:00.000+08:00

where's dis pumpkin? im hungry.

what u want to eat?hurrry up lahhhh.

wait-lahh. hmm...lets get .. this one k.
u go and order.

why am i always d one who haf to pay.
k.n.n.

eating's done.
now...let's rokok.

2005-08-26T01:35:00.000+08:00

dnt misunderstand.
it wasnt nice to haf to hear dat u guys said diz n dat n diz n dat.
u girls rock. n u guys will always be the best aunties ever.
i know tt i havent been spendin as much time before wit u guys n always meet up wit doink.
things haf just been different these past week n all n i hope u guys understand.
i still wanna spend as much time as possible with u girls cos u girls rock my world.
dnt take it wrongly. i haf bad time management but im trying. and dnt salah faham to why i dislike aibah. *due to the testi pinpoint and all*
i dint realise she's rad's bestfrnd and all. so u guys cnt just assume im being selfish and restrictive.
bcos when it comes to r'shp, evry couple looks at things diff so u guys dnt know how we take things.
im glad i got somebody who's smart enuff to not layan that pest.
but it's all good ryte, since u guys know who aibah is and what kind of a person she is.
and if najib does end up with her, which i hope they would stop being so close, he's stupid aka bodoh nak mampos.
dat girl is not dat appealing, not superb on the outside and most imptly, not on the inside.
i wld undstnd if she's d bomb but she's not. she's nt even dat pretty for a stick thin girl *k .enuff*
so y bother treating her as ur so called "gf"?
she shld stop flirting with other ppl's bf, she alrdy has got a stolen bf what.
diz goes to jib. dnt be stupid ok.

2005-08-21T15:40:00.000+08:00

iZZA is a POSER.
Hahah.
i picked up a little bit of drumming in sec 4. and dropped it due to some accounts.
and afta tt cldnt be botherd. that was erm. 2 years ago. heh.
now izza is chasing after my ...'dreams' of drumming. arggg..
together with her aunties. they've got bloody drumsticks even. argh.
izza.. poser.
hello ati. heheh.
kau poserr.
poser ahhhh.
poser.
IZZATI POSER AHHHH!

oh. kk. btw pumpkin. BIG FAT HINT. ive updated my wishlist.

heh heh heh. =pp

2005-08-21T00:54:00.000+08:00

no digicam=hp camera=2 pictures only.
adik dengki kakak not included.lol.
i love sentosa. sun, sand and baby.
fucker. i hate the sea. yes. i hate the sea.
unlike so many thousands of malays who desire to skimm and meyaut pannggilan laut a.k.a karmic call of the waves. bullllshit. i hate the seaaaaa.

somebody said blogging is like telling the whole world how u feel. *ahem*
and that somebody wants me to shut down my bloggy.
no way no.
im keeping it up. so i can tell the whole world . i love my baby.
ok. there u go. we almost forgot abt evrybody and had d whole week to ourselves.
hint*hint. kerja saturday. nak kena book in. =pp
what a slenger bacin.

alright.
till then, i love u kids.

2005-08-19T12:22:00.000+08:00

2005-08-18T18:08:00.000+08:00

ok. since i cant tagg niz's board.
let's just put it here..
yes. what niz said is true.
but.
come on gerls. if u gerls are willing to make d effort to patch things with ur bf and all... y cant us gerls
make the effort to make up. btwn frnds.
things are never gonna be the same. dammit. for sure. unless we change.
the thing tt didi caused just made me nad n niz more closer. bcos for sure we know what we go thru.
nth like this ever happened before didi came into our lives. i meant, nura's. ahem.
but i dont care alrdy, bcos it's over and i just dnt want it to happen again.

we all think differently due to huge age gaps.
16 and 21?
but come on lah. work on our differences.
didi's out of the way alrdy. we dont haf to get along with him
just us gerls ok.
n its true tt nura cant just wash her hands clean. bcos didi's ur bf. n u got to haf a word wit him.
niz is just expressing her anger. berbual blakang. bukannyer aper.
shiela pun ada kutuk didi. nadia pun. aku pun. sapa tak.budak2 dome? heheh. ada lah sikit2.
no harm what.
klah. byk bebual pulak aku...

moral of the story. not evrybody haf to love ur bf. but dnt forget tt frends love frends even when we argue.
sooo...i love korang.
byebye belos.

2005-08-17T01:30:00.000+08:00

after more more more missions
should get tt mod's jacket ....at i dnt know where.
shld ask azrie.
ok. check.
more more more more outings.
just beautiful.
singapore's boring. malaysia makes no difference.time for exploring.
so we can check check check more places.
parks,clubs,lanes,beaches here we come.

pretty2.. shut down.shut it. shut up. shut d fuck in.
buzz arnd with tt hiphop hooray. i also dnt gif a shit alrdy.
arrogant hiphop-fucks.
dnt know y im still intrested in hiphop. so many stuck up malays walking ard wit noses high just
bcos theyve got a good beat. it doesnt even earn them a living. doing music in singapore is just a waste of money and evergy. not to mention, their talent brings nothing. just arrogance.
nvm. performing makes ppl happy.
haf to dragg to dat stpid platform 5 shit.
juz glad to get dat slot, tt imran was supposedly part of d organising team.
we got it from a higher authority. hah.nothing to do with a bloody contract.or a HIPHOP organiser.
versatality baby,

in ur face cibai.

2005-08-15T12:31:00.000+08:00

city sqare was boring.
d shops i meant. far east is more entertaining compared.
i had fun wit my baby tho. i got vans shoes and board shorts.
dint know what else to get. it's either too expensive, i alrdy got it or it's just not there. or no size available.

im sick. darn.
inertia lost. padan muka korng.
suker nyer aku.
nyeahahah. i wasnt there cos i was caught in the fever epidemic, but who cares.
im happy, for civic dome squad.
(what what what what what)

can anyone with spare unwanted slots pls contact me?
;( i wannnaa perforrmm..
shah? where's d beat?
heh.

he callled me sayang.
hahahahahahahhahaha.
miang punya jantan.
hahahah. and another one. i just want to roll over and laugh.
dint know if time made any diff. but i just still cant believe it.
lol.
honestly things like dat can make ur day n boost my low self confidence.
heeehh.
BUT...
*rolls eyes*
whatever. guyss...
byebye kidss.

im hungryy...

2005-08-11T13:56:00.000+08:00

[]edited[] salah info lahhh. hahah.
for a moment i felt like i was playing monopoly. with the situation tt i only got one chance card.
one just wanttts the last chance card when he's got a few tt he's torn right down the middle.
and the one complained that i've given the other player all the cards and says it's unfair i didnt give him at least a card.
tunggu next shipment dtg. agaknyer nanti ada lag.

hearts you blue.
hearts you pink.

it's unfairr. but who says life's gonna be fair. yes, u dont always get what u want.
im blind. i just gave out the last card. i took the risk to getting hurt.
but if i play my card's right, satisfaction comes my way.
then again. nothing lasts forever. n kalau dah jodoh tak ke mana kan?
dont squabble over this already farz. give the other jealous gerls a chance.
*grins*

cnt think abt this anymore. im attached.im nt supposed to lahh.
hurghhh..!
aku nak chocolatesss.

byecheebye.

2005-08-08T12:50:00.000+08:00

the weekend rawks.
never haf i seen the dome kids like that. especially the un-jiwa boleh mcm terjiwa. heh. we lovve u guys.
juz bcos they dress tt way, - izza,marsh n erh, fiq's gf r good gerls. neither of them smoke or drink
want to know why? bcos they dont know how to!!
nyeahahah. . ;p
anyway, cnt wait for the upcoming chalet.
got Some Stupid September Babies. sepppt.
hopefully ronnie can come. herh.

let's see how far u cn work it/ change my mind to blieve u deserve it.

i think there's been enuff lies to go arnd. myself unspared.
started by me and it's gonna end by me. got to make a desicion no matter what ryte?
<3 color="#ff6666">

2005-08-04T01:41:00.000+08:00

"Dan mungkin bila nanti, kitakan bertemu lagi,Satu pintaku, jgn kau coba tanyakan kembali rasa ku yg tgl mati"

the purpose to come back here is to let some 'drop-by' ppl know tt i need beats.
so PLS. let me noe ok. so if u wanna sell or borrow or better yet lend or give.
hit me ok.
thank you.

freakishtales@hotmail.com

had a nice day.nite.
ride home was funny.
it was so funny we just had to luff out loud.
whatelse if not malay bapok guy dancers. these were like super bapok ok.
dgn gerak geri tangan dgn make-up. makkau. muka mintak kena backhand.
haiyaaa...
pls lor, u dnt haf to act like a bapok to dance well.
cn just dance well and be a man whaat. haiyo.
salah bawak ar diz piple. hah!

2005-07-30T03:13:00.000+08:00

it's like pagi2 buta and my post is directionless.
looking at them makes me grin on the insyd.. =))
i look at u with an empty heart. with promises tt r meant 2 b broken, histories tt r meant to b repeated. then i see ur determination. ur emotions. emotions datz hard for arrogant, egoistic guys 2 display.
if what u claim u feel is strong enuff then y r u doing this?
argh goddamit.
dah tk kuasa aku.
im waiting..? 4 what? muz b an evolution. tah betol ke tk...

whatever lahh kan.

2005-07-29T13:26:00.000+08:00

it was predictably boring but it turned out a-okay.
infact i had a great time just talking. =)) stealth was not bad.
at the back of my mind it was like, u talk too much. but in the end u taught me to open up.
yeaaahh, ok, im starhub. Heh-
woa..pinkman go smbyg jumaat. =))
coincidentially, u had d same thinking tt i had abt him.
well, we know what's good and what's bad.
oh well, im here am i not.
i had a nyce time.
thankks again.

mission accomplished! ;D

2005-07-28T02:34:00.000+08:00

i had a short nice time..
now let's fallllllllllllllllllllllll..........

fucker.
cibaiii.

2005-07-27T19:58:00.000+08:00

i dnt know what to write.
so how- left or right?, kiri atau kanan?
fikir lahh kau farz, fikir.

maybe tmrw wld be okae for our day.
but arrrrrrgh..aku tkda tambanggg. ='((
hah.
how good is that.
spent two days with the company of kakak,nisak n good-looking.
heh heh. cute-ness. i just want to eat u up lahh.
hahahah. gerammm siak aku.
oh well, hope i can get fare so we cn go complete our first mission. hmm..
and thanks for evrytg. thanks byk2.
=))) weeee-

i'm loving it.
take care kids.
*hugs*

2005-07-21T01:40:00.000+08:00

im like a prisoner. willing to be prisoned.NO.
y am i choosing to stay in this confusing cell when i cn just go out and embrace the free world.
y?bcos it feels dat im being challenged by u to c how long i cn stand this predicament. how long i can be patient to withstand this love bullshit. love=menyusahkan aku.
u make my guilty conscious restrict my movements. tsk. esp when it comes to guys.
goddamit,it's agonising. im weak.im a pessimistic. i cnt bring myself to look at the bright side bcos i mite get disappointed....again.
y muz piple like u do this to me.
fun ryte make others wait.y muz evrytg be so fucked. isnt there enuff problems to go arnd.
nobody wants to come clean.hint hint hint. semua nk hint. i hate 20th.
argh. c h i b a i i... i feel like smashing my hp evrytime ur msgs come in but i still wanna read it n reply. how f u c k d is dat. i hate being torn into half. stop it. stop all this bullshit. dragg me furthur. dragg me somemore. y not dragg me until ur stupid bdae. where we can rejoice in never ending happiness. afta dat, u can continue to change mee. change me before u change urself.
ohhh, im sorrie too. i cant help it ok. dammit ok. whats with u piple being so self-centered.

i dnt wanna stick my funny katak face, smile and be labelled as sombong by other piple.
fine.i dnt wanna complain abt me. let's spare a thot for you.
what are you going thru?

omfg, i remembered d time i had to cry, begging.
then i had to run crying.
then ive got to cry, yelling.
then ive got to beg, crying.
i had to plead,crying.

y must evrytg haf cry inside. and amidst all those cries. u haf nvr done what i had done.
dragg me some more. please. all i want is to push aside these feelings, these sadness, the pain dat i haf to sleep on evrynite. the scratches that goes on as u dragg me furthur down the road. to u, it's a mere show of loyalty.
loyal kepala hotak. i kept to my promises. somebody didnt. the world has stopped turning. the sea dint touch d shore. kenapa semua org nk kena mcm sial gitu. tk cukup ke the word 'cries' coming up evry now and then. muz elongate my pain issit? huh?

i know what u're gonna say. SORRY.
sorry to u is like a pit stop. then u cn continue dragging me.. wait je.. wait ahh. u got plans.
ok lor. as long as you're happy ok?
i took a step forward today.n what i said to them just reinforced my self-confidence.

i gt frnds stuck in indirect bgr-cum-frnds problem. love is menyusahkan.
especially when it makes u do things, u dnt wanna do.
dont rush, take ur time. 2.4km belom habes pun...

ok. continue dragging...........................................
ohmygod,cnsomebodyhelptakemeaway.u'rehappy.imnot.stopitcan?
fateiscruel.andu'repartofit.stophurtingmelahh.idntwannagotosleepevrydaybeingsadandunhappy.
especially today.
fuck 20th.

ok piple. im going to redircet to another bloghost for other updates ok. im going to tryout lj.
so, if u nid to know anymore of my personal bullshit. u can go there.
ahhhh..cannot lahh.haha. it's just for my own personal thing lehhh.
hah. c u around kids.

2005-07-20T14:19:00.000+08:00

aiya. suddenly i feel like going penin to get punkrock band tshirts,handbag and tops. arghh.
i feel like going out to look oud for sum stuffs. haiyo.
today's like d only day i haf cash n...i gt so many tings to look for. hah. step kaya jer.
let's just wait until niz comes here.i'll go dcide.
HELLO KATAK!

fairy tales are children's creation.

2005-07-17T13:28:00.000+08:00

"Humour is refuge for the narrow minded." -
in simple terms. orang bodoh, kalau nak sembunyikan kebodohan dia, slalunya buat lawak. jadi kebodohan dia tu tk kelihatan. pasal da kena tutup dgn lawak dia perrrrrrrr.
what do you think?
hah.main2 je lah kae.

it hurts more to think abt it then to go thru it.
i don ever want to go thru it again. i dont want anymore yelling. anymore tears.
i want smiles, huggs. and when bad time comes, i want happiness to tapp my shoulders and when i turn, i hope it wnt just disappear. that happiness wnt just vaporise into thin air.

happiness is nt a mirage. dnt let it be.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. whatever lahh.

hanging out with the younger, energetic annoying kids beats hanging out with the older boys anytime in the middle of the night. i missssss those slenger times back then with these now grown-up kids. they make photo taking dance fun at the playground. haha.

i wanna go jb.NIZ, let's go JB.FASTERRR!/get money from my mother/then we shopping together2..

i love u both. =))

2005-07-12T23:57:00.000+08:00

niz bought a mag n got a free top.
she dint want it so she passed it to me.
aunty, u think i what huhhhh.

but i tried it on. not bad.i'll wear it someday.
one special day. when my courage to wear spagg strap top comes back.
lol.or maybe if i get pumpkin's opinion or sth. cos if i sweat then its gonna reek like hell. im talkinggg bout the pitts.. heh. dat's it, im bringin perfume wherever i go. *shld i even post diz shit here? who caress*

aunty, ur uncle is calling n calling.
tha docta has called.
but.
iwontpickup.nyeheheh.

anyways, we shld hurry n get the beatssssssss.
im dyinggg for a new songgg.
ohhh yeah,yeah.before i forget.
possible, sheesha session with d.o.k on saturday.

..erh.it's nt a good thing to be asking piple out when u're attached. especially someone u dnt know well.but...are u?oh well.frends whaaaat.

that's it for today!
till then,
smile always.

2005-07-12T12:11:00.000+08:00

how do u come to trust a person that u noe has been lying to u many times before this and all u can do is just keep quiet about it?

how do u believe that person is trying to help u when what she says goes against what u hear? goes against the fact that outrightly, that person is lying to you. again.

i heard their conversations.i SAW his msgs in my mum's hp. i heard what he said. infact, she told me what he told her. but a frend can just go ahead and deny all allegations when u urself know it's true.of cos lah my mum wnt care, cos she's vandalising our frendshp. all this has got nth to do with her.

tell me, how many lies does it take to cover the truth and shame?

deny,deny,deny. lie,lie,lie.
if he said things, just say it. we just cnt b bothered to get angry or whatsoever.
but lying? saying that he said nothing?
we knoe ur little sister said a few things.
but come on, it takes more than one hand to clap.
and im sure some of u did blabber out some things.
stop lying to us already.
we trust u A WHOLE LOT.
and all u people can do is just lie?
bcos of guys?
we're not angry at u piple ok.
we give up la. u guys cannot just continue lying.
make up. be happy. and continue lying.
making up, making peace and continue being happy, wont last long if ur mantra is just to lie. n u dont want to change urself.

n dont come back and deny all this again ok.

2005-07-11T13:57:00.000+08:00

we have been nice to u guys ever since we know u piple.
pls ar, i know mamat more then i know didi.
didi, u dnt haf d rites to just barge into our lives and messing things up for us.
u're nt in our position, u dnt know. u dnt know how fuckd up my mother can be.
dat doesnt give u d rites to bitch bout us, calling and telling this and that.
sikit2 tkpe ar. tapi takkan sampai background and all that stkt nk burukkan image orang yg kau tk suka? kau pun ada background yg lagi buruk dari some piple.
and bcos of this u wanna run complaining to my mum. get a grip ok.
stop telling tales just to fuel up my mum's anger.
u dnt like then come clarify things with me. easy as that.
n dont tell me u're also the one to complain to my mum abt our smoking habits.
u're nt our frnd. u never were. n frends dont do this.
dont chase nura's frends away from her.
and the same goes to nura. we've been ure frends longer then u know him.
we've been thru things together. n bcos of a boyfrend u blow us off?
we know ur history too k nura. and we havent got anything against u.
u just throw ur frends one by one away.
da lah. aku pun da tk kuasa.
time will tell what true frends are. and ive got mine by my sides.
do u?
my mum can b such a mthfcka, u know tt. so undstand la sikit2 what we haf to go thru wen u piple do this to us. she's gonna cut off our frndshp and all.
haiz. but it doesnt matter does it? cos u cut off our frendshp urself alrdy.

we understand.
we just cnnt be on the same sides.
this is all just bullshit.
leave us alone.
please.

2005-07-09T01:37:00.000+08:00

it's a lucky thing i hate mly songs.
they're pro- depressent i tell u. altho some of it makes u happy lahh. depends.

i realised. ..
complaining gets NO WHERE.

so we just haf got to live our lives the way it is.

no matter how many piple pity u. tells u tt u shldnt live ur life like this.

or once in a while u gotta fight ur parents back.

it doesnt matter anymore. i ve been thru dat since primary skool when i wrote hate letters to my mum.
and up till today, i have changed.alot.
and the last thing i want is to leave my family unhappy.

nobody is gonna understand the bullshit that hits u. and also they are never gonna be able to help u the way u can help urself.

altho im grateful to those i feel comfortable with sharing my heart n soul with.

thanks niz for the concern. and the plans for killing.
thanks ejat for advices and all the annoying tauntings.

thanks pumpkin, for just .....bein a pumpkin. hah. no lahh, thanks for just taking pity on me. and caring alot. yeaahhh, faith is cruel. so put ur own faith in ur own hands and take actions to make it better. blieve in improving. take a step at a time.

dimana kah yoko?dnt let him be anywhere nearrr us. ryte kakak?

2005-07-07T14:11:00.000+08:00

i dnt know if my assumptions are right but somebody needs to tell her bf to mind his own beeswax.
fancy tell talling shits to other people's parents.
kalau yer pun agak2 mak kau ahh.
he thinks he knows us too well. padahal baru kenal. u dnt know us, we dont know u ok.
tell ur bf to stop being such a bitch and stop melebih2 kan cerita.
its DAMN annoying. i cant tolerate it. and if he's unhappy he can come and meet us. or me even.
i dnt know what's true alrdy. but 4 now i take it tt he's not my frend so stop nk step jaga anak orang lain.
i dnt know who's dat person but d first person to come to mind who caused all this is him.
yes. didi. whatever ur name is. rushidi or raihadi or WHATEVER. tolong jgn menyebok.
my gf, ive got nothing against u. but ur bf is getting on my nerves. stop it. cos he's driving away all ur frends.

arrrghhh.
motherfucker